hey actually let's not talk about pop music ok

I spend a lot of time listening to music and very little time talking about music. When the topic comes up in conversation, I either end up violently disagreeing with people (please, no more Gang of Four discussions) or unintentionally condescending everyone and painting myself as a peevish obscurist squinting at mp3 playlists at three in the morning (no relation to reality in that statement of course). On a recent date I refused to answer the "what music do you like?" question, as this topic never seems to develop favorably. Evading the subject didnt work much better. They can see it in your eyes.

Its not a disadvantage per se to know a lot about music so much as it is a disadvantage to know a lot about anything. Particularly if youve just met someone, any display of topical superiority or (worse) perceived knowitallism spells doom for your blossoming comity. Kaboom.

I have a decent stopgap answer, though I just say I listen to music from the late 70s and early 80s. Almost every musical genre was firing at full power around this time, so I can find something to talk about with the punk new-waver, the Italo disco émigré, or the reggae/dub adept. But its also distant enough that people my age can sidestep it without feeling obligated to discuss it. Peace, happiness, togetherness, its what Im all about.

I recently compiled a list of my favorite singles from 1975-1984 (please do not ask why. I already had singles ranked by individual years, so it wasnt that hard. Dont ask why I had that either, though). My top 100 has convinced me that possibly no other 10-year period of music enjoyed such rich variety and such a high degree of quality. But keep in mind that unless you share my sickening affliction for this sort of thing you should not gaze upon it. To whit, observe my science, and feel our bond weaken.

1. The Motors – Dancing the Night Away
2. Jackson Sisters – Miracles
3. Sheila & B. Devotion – Spacer
4. New Order – Temptation
5. Chic – I Want Your Love
6. Wire – Outdoor Miner
7. The Only Ones – Another Girl, Another Planet
8. Donna Summer – I Feel Love
9. Norma Jean – Saturday
10. The Records – Starry Eyes
11. World Class Wreckin’ Cru – Surgery
12. David Bowie – TVC15
13. Sparks – The Number One Song In Heaven
14. Visage – Fade to Grey
15. David Bowie – Heroes
16. The Rich Kids – Ghosts of Princes in Towers
17. Imagination – Changes
18. New Order – Blue Monday
19. The Specials – Ghost Town
20. David Bowie – Modern Love
21. Strawberry Switchblade – Since Yesterday
22. Lori & the Chameleons – Lonely Spy
23. Kebekelektrik – Magic Fly
24. Simple Minds – I Travel
25. Valerie Dore – The Night
26. ABC – The Look of Love
27. Blondie – Union City Blue
28. Pauline Murray and the Invisible Girls – Dream Sequence
29. David Bowie – Look Back in Anger
30. Cerrone – Supernature
31. Dean Parrish – I’m On My Way
32. Hall & Oates – I Can’t Go For That (No Can Do)
33. Patrick Hernandez – Born To Be Alive
34. Nick Straker Band – A Little Bit of Jazz
35. Michael Jackson – Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough
36. Stevie Nicks – Stand Back
37. Earth, Wind and Fire – Let’s Groove
38. Judas Priest – Breaking the Law
39. A Number of Names – Sharevari
40. David Bowie – Boys Keep Swinging
41. Phil Lynott – Yellow Pearl
42. Crown Heights Affair – Say A Prayer For Two
43. Central Line – Walking Into Sunshine
44. Elvis Costello – Man Out of Time
45. Depeche Mode – Everything Counts / Work Hard
46. Yellow Magic Orchestra – Computer Game
47. Oliver Cheatham – Get Down Saturday Night
48. Alexander Robotnick – Problemes d’Amour
49. The Blue Nile – Tinseltown in the Rain
50. Giorgio Moroder – Chase
51. Freeez – IOU
52. Lloyd Cole and the Commotions – Perfect Skin
53. ESG – Moody
54. Al Green – Full of Fire
55. Digital Emotion – Go Go Yellow Screen
56. Prince – Little Red Corvette
57. After the Fire – Der Kommissar
58. Torch Song – Don’t Look Now
59. Suicide – Dream Baby Dream
60. Jigsaw – Sky High
61. The Cure – A Forest (Extended Mix)
62. Boney M – Rasputin
63. Diana Ross – I’m Coming Out
64. Dr. Buzzard’s Original Savannah Band – Whispering / Cherchez La Femme / Se Si Bon
65. The Whispers – And the Beat Goes On
66. General Public – Tenderness
67. The Associates – Party Fears Two
68. The Motors – Tenement Steps
69. Diana Ross – Love Hangover
70. 23 Skidoo – Coup
71. Harry Thumann – Underwater
72. Lio – Le Banana Split
73. Madonna – Holiday
74. The Cure – The Walk
75. Parliament – Flashlight
76. Yellow Magic Orchestra – Behind the Mask
77. Lori and the Chameleons – Touch
78. Girlschool – Yeah Right
79. Kid Creole and the Coconuts – I’ma Wonderful Thing, Baby
80. John Foxx – Europe After the Rain
81. The Motors – Airport
82. George Clinton – Atomic Dog
83. Felt – Sunlight Bathed the Golden Glow
84. Sheila E. – The Glamorous Life
85. Joy Division – Love Will Tear Us Apart
86. Beau Williams – C’est la Vie
87. SPK – Metal Dance
88. Robert Palmer – Johnny and Mary
89. Chic – Everybody Dance
90. David Bowie – Golden Years
91. World Premiere – Share the Night
92. King – Love & Pride
93. Michael Jackson – Wanna Be Startin’ Something
94. The Teardrop Explodes – Treason (It’s Just a Story)
95. The Soft Boys – I Wanna Destroy You
96. The Teardrop Explodes – Reward
97. Thin Lizzy – The Boys Are Back in Town
98. World Class Wreckin’ Cru – Juice
99. Imagination – Music and Lights
100. Diana Ross – Upside Down  ¶ 10:36 PM |

  When parody backfires into free advertising



It appears we accidentally have cable for the summer, which is made up almost entirely of channels I would never watch. I see a lot more Sox games (tonight, OMG) and Ghost in the Shell (what separates a sci-fi political thriller from a regular thriller? They have long philosophical discussions on “Cyberspace” instead of on shadowy Beltway corners). Otherwise it’s not much different for me.
My roommate, however, likes to watch Comedy Central’s The Colbert Report, the spin-off from The Daily Show featuring Stephen Colbert as a Bill O’Reilly-esque conservative demagogue. He does various monologues and satirical sketches aimed primarily at comedy with some indirect liberal news commentary.
The show also hosts political guests from the left or right; Colbert comically feints at the former and either clumsily champions or tries to out-conserve the latter. The guests, many of whom are authors pushing non-fiction, take the heat to get their product on national TV.
Some are better at it than others. They recently had a conservative author on touting a book with a formula for winning Republican control of the U.S. Senate. Colbert was clearly poking fun at the Republican Party throughout the interview, but the author wasn’t fazed. He smiled throughout, kept his composure, chuckled briefly when appropriate, and quickly tailored his talking points on the spot to match the direction Colbert was heading.
For a show with clearly liberal-satirical leanings, one almost wonders if the producers balk at bringing on guests who will use the show as a platform to sell a conservative book.



My roommate noted that with a primarily liberal audience, The Colbert Report might not be the best platform for promoting a conservative book. But free publicity is free publicity, and just pushing a title toward the center of a national dialogue is enough to get indirect sales as friendlier media outlets pick up the topic.
It’s no secret that the news media is in serious ethical and financial trouble, and it’s very future is it stake, as reporters and editors are under attack from bloggers, government investigators, and a public that doesn’t trust them. It’s also no secret that many young people get more news from The Daily Show and The Colbert Report than they do from the New York Times.
In the future, if the objective news media disappears completely, this is what will remain: A variety of entertainment outlets where advocates, lobbyists, and publicists compete to promote rival products in commentary-by-comedy that (at best) achieves some sort of accidental objectivity through some wobbly, careening brinkmanship.  ¶ 10:58 PM |

  do you need my assistance



Police Chief Grady: I'm sorry about that delousing. Just standard procedure.
Farva: It's powdered sugar.
Police Chief Grady: The lice hate the sugar.
Farva: It's delicious.  ¶ 11:50 PM |

  Where do dogs come from anyway


When God gets back to earth it’s going to probably be like “Hello everyone how are you all-“ and then a happy Chihuahua will run up to jump at it and bark excitedly and God will be all “WTF did you guys do, seriously.”
According to Wikipedia, the most credible source I could be bothered to consult during the 45 seconds I was curious about Chihuahua genealogy, theories suggest the dogs were bred overtime either from the Orient (where ancient peoples got a kick out of shrinking everything from plants to women’s feet) or from fennec foxes. Whichever it was… how did this ever occur to someone?

Some breeds make sense. German shepherds look like wolves. I assume they were bred from wolves. A German shepherd is basically a wolf that can smell bombs and speak German. Now look at a miniature poodle or a schnauzer. These are large rodents that sort of mingled in with dogs at some point and convinced everyone they were real.
Today we have movies like “The 6th Day” to educate us and warn us about the dangers of genetic engineering, but back in olden times people didn’t know any better. They had to do it slowly, but they got some bizarre results.  ¶ 11:53 PM |

  Equal opportunity employment



Early Nintendo games kept the villains pretty simple. The opposition might be turtle, goomba, turtle, turtle, goomba, turtle, goomba, goomba, goomba, and so on. Every once and a while they might mix it up with a turtle with wings, and that would be totally crazy by those standards. King Koopa had strict recruitment rules.
Ninja Gaiden was different. Jaquio and Ashura, the villains from the first two games in the series, would basically hire anyone into their evil armies. Soldiers, the undead, eagles, ghosts, cheetahs, guys with pumpkins for heads, spiders, football players, crazy thugs with knives, Mongolian dudes, boxers, police officers, ninjas, will-o-the-wisps, flying robot lizards, Viking monsters, bats, Jason look-alikes, lepers, barbarians, and more.



You could be a half-blind drunken hobo with a sharp stick; as long as you were willing to charge headlong at a ninja in an almost certainly suicidal effort to stop him from reaching your dark master, you were on board. I think that’s a positive message that resonates with everyone.  ¶ 11:42 PM |