Slumberlord
Friday, March 30, 2007
Doughn't dream it's over
I rarely eat doughnuts. But I rarely refuse to eat them if they are offered to me. And the most frequently free doughnuts are Dunkin Donuts Munchkins. The easily recognized box is frequently out for grabs at white-collar jobs, but people don’t just reach in and grab one or a handful indiscriminately. Rather there’s a clear hierarchy that’s respected and followed and goes as follows:
Jelly Filled Munchkin
The sticky diamond in the rough and the jewel in the munchkin crown. A munchkin can’t please all the people all the time but the jelly certainly comes closest.
Glazed Chocolate Munchkin
While I’m not personally a big fan of the chocolate, I definitely respect its place in the hierarchy. This is the only munchkin that dares to be dark and as such deserves considerable kudo-ization.
Glazed Munchkin
Simple and effective, the glazed is the workhorse in this bunch. If only all the lower munchkins could just be glazes, the world would be a better place.
Sugar Munchkin
Sweet, but unpleasantly grainy. A glazed chaser makes it a decent choice, but this is where the doughnut continuum begins to go south.
Powdered Munchkin
Dry and heavy, this a throwback to a simpler, grosser time. Let’s move on America, we’re bigger than this.
Cinnamon Munchkin
Like the powdered munchkin, but with an even drier, less pleasant taste. Good for variety if the muncher is eating a whole lot, although why someone would ever eat a whole lot of Munchkins is unclear.
Plain Munchkin
Ah, the bottom of the barrel, or in this case, the flimsy cardboard box. Few sensations are worse than biting into a jelly munchkin and realizing it is actually a plain munchkin. This is Satan’s favorite way of kicking you in the bottom.
Dear Dunkin Donuts Co.: My suggestions.
Honey munchkin (easy!)
Raspberry munchkin (come on!)
Bear claw munchkin (really, why not?)
Everlasting Doughstopper munchkin (is science there yet?)
I rarely eat doughnuts. But I rarely refuse to eat them if they are offered to me. And the most frequently free doughnuts are Dunkin Donuts Munchkins. The easily recognized box is frequently out for grabs at white-collar jobs, but people don’t just reach in and grab one or a handful indiscriminately. Rather there’s a clear hierarchy that’s respected and followed and goes as follows:
Jelly Filled Munchkin
The sticky diamond in the rough and the jewel in the munchkin crown. A munchkin can’t please all the people all the time but the jelly certainly comes closest.
Glazed Chocolate Munchkin
While I’m not personally a big fan of the chocolate, I definitely respect its place in the hierarchy. This is the only munchkin that dares to be dark and as such deserves considerable kudo-ization.
Glazed Munchkin
Simple and effective, the glazed is the workhorse in this bunch. If only all the lower munchkins could just be glazes, the world would be a better place.
Sugar Munchkin
Sweet, but unpleasantly grainy. A glazed chaser makes it a decent choice, but this is where the doughnut continuum begins to go south.
Powdered Munchkin
Dry and heavy, this a throwback to a simpler, grosser time. Let’s move on America, we’re bigger than this.
Cinnamon Munchkin
Like the powdered munchkin, but with an even drier, less pleasant taste. Good for variety if the muncher is eating a whole lot, although why someone would ever eat a whole lot of Munchkins is unclear.
Plain Munchkin
Ah, the bottom of the barrel, or in this case, the flimsy cardboard box. Few sensations are worse than biting into a jelly munchkin and realizing it is actually a plain munchkin. This is Satan’s favorite way of kicking you in the bottom.
Dear Dunkin Donuts Co.: My suggestions.
Honey munchkin (easy!)
Raspberry munchkin (come on!)
Bear claw munchkin (really, why not?)
Everlasting Doughstopper munchkin (is science there yet?)
Saturday, March 17, 2007
I've got Powers... political Powers.
Watching "24" has led me to believe that there should be a game show called "Power(s) Booth(e)," hosted by Powers Boothe. I'm not sure if the 's' and the 'e' should be retained or not. I haven't totally worked out what the show would be about, but contestants would definitely be in a booth, and some sort of staring/intimidation contest with Boothe would probably figure prominently in it.
Theme song: "The Power" by Snap!
