Slumberlord
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
 
There's this film you probably haven't heard about yet

Below is a blog entry about “Snakes on a Plane,” a film that came out in theaters this past weekend. I’m pretty sure this is the first time the film has been mentioned on a blog, if not on the entire Internet.

A friend of mine who is something of a cinematic maven called the film a big waste of his money. He said he was taken in by a clever advertising campaign and expected “dumb fun” but instead found a “manufactured cult film” that was “annoyingly self-aware.” To which I say, well, what did you expect?

After hearing my friend’s complaint I almost wondered if the first sentence of this post could be taken seriously. Previously I had assumed that the fan-generated hype that preceded the film was almost synonymous with the film itself. To know of “Snakes On a Plane” at all was to know that it was a film which fans, through the power of the Internet, willed into a cult film long before its actual release. Not only did they play some role in convincing the makers to keep the name (it’s debatable how much of a role it was, but I’m sure it had an effect); the filmmakers even added additional footage in response to the fan enthusiasm.

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The movie has been erroneously dubbed a B-movie and likened to the last great snake adventure movie, “Anaconda.” But in reality it is the polar opposite; a film that is as aware of its own goofiness as it can be, from beginning (soft tropical music and surfing as the title appears in a decidedly non-thrilling plain white block text” to end (a music video that spoofs the film’s concept plays with the credits). The film certainly has flaws (fuzzy/uncertain use of the supporting characters, the regression into a plain old "airplane in trouble" scenario (with too few snakes) in the final third of the film, and not enough David Koechner!) but it’s enjoyable overall. My friend saddled himself with an unreasonable and unrealistic expectation before entering the theater and was duly disappointed.

Of course, there’s a more disturbing answer here, which is that I simply spend too much time on the Internet, that my expectation was the unusual one, and it is my film friend, who does not have Internet access, who has the more realistic view. But to that I say LOL. A hearty LOL indeed.
 
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
 
Great directors of our time: Zach Braff

“Artist on Artist: Zach Braff and Kevin Smith

Two great directors, Zach Braff and Kevin Smith, in L.A., discussing eachothers careers, Kevin also talks about how addicted he is to Myspace”

That’s with spelling and punctuation intact, in case it’s not obvious (key line: MySpace entered as “Myspace” on, yes, MySpace.com).

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Let’s unpack that statement. Smith, at least, has one good (and I stress “good”) film on his record, and that’s his first, “Clerks.” It’s funny, it was fresh when it came out, and it apparently contained about 90% of his good ideas. He has followed that with a string of efforts that have been, at their best, a few good ideas in a jumbled mess (“Dogma”) and, at worst, comedies like “Clerks” without the freshness or the humor. In his spare time he has mercilessly ground his tedious “Star Wars”-junkie persona into the public consciousness and worked hard to make himself seem as unpleasant as possible by sniping at critics who pan his films.

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If that sounds like a tenuous claim to greatness, consider Braff. Per IMDB.com, “great director” Braff has:

1. A 1997 short.
2. Three episodes of “Scrubs.”
3. “Garden State.”
4. A film titled “Open Hearts,” due out next year.

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Now, the first two are pretty modest credits and the last isn’t out yet, so I’m inclined to think MySpace is giving this prestigious honor purely on the strength of “Garden State.” The directors who have achieved greatness with just one film are members of an exclusive club. Orson Welles might have earned if he had only made “Citizen Kane.” Quentin Tarantino might well have received the honor if he had retired from film after “Pulp Fiction.” Even those are debatable. And Braff, with one feature under his belt, can rest easy knowing he has already scaled those heights.

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Personally, I thought “Garden State” was an insulting load of chlock, backlit by garbage indie rock and embodying the worst cinematic excesses of its generation; the very best spin one could put on it is that it was made by an overenthusiastic teenager who just saw his first Wes Anderson film. And it was a grown man who made the decision to slap his audience in the face with this contrived melodrama about the forgettable, context-less, meaningless personal problems of a few dull young people. But don’t tell that to the cinematic minds at MySpace.com. Zach Braff has done it, in one try. I tip my hat to you, Braff.
 
Thursday, August 03, 2006
 
blog

I admit defeat. Sort of.

I have been lagging hardcore on this blog for some time, and I fully intended to update it at the end of the weekend, but the extreme heat pushed me beyond reason and drove me well outside of my normal routine. I actually didn’t move for three days, which made it difficult to approach the computer, much less type intelligent things. I tried to dictate entries to pedestrians passing my apartment, but I could not find anyone who could correctly spell scopulae, and I consequently gave up.

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The rain has freed me from my reptile-like lethargy, but left me with a damp, shameful spot on my conscience. I feel the same sort of shame that a small child feels when an uncared-for pet suddenly falls ill. A burst of overcompensating attention, undercut by the knowledge that my efforts are too little, too late, and designed more for my own benefit than for that of the pet.


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Fortunately, a blog, unlike a puppy or a boa constrictor, does not fall ill or try to eat a lamp if you do not care for it or feed it. Instead, like a cactus, it simply lies dormant, perhaps serving as a home for small burrowing birds, until you return to replenish it. I will make a good faith effort to update this blog irregularly, with no more illusions. I may not be responsible enough to own a pet, but I am responsible enough to run a blog, which is either an indictment of the value of information in modern society or a testament to the (relative) value of life.
 
Stylus Magazine

blogheads
Crank Crunk - he's so sincerr
Post Graduation Haze - minnesombulist
Some Disco - more rapping blogs please
DJ Martian - you think this is easy, realism
Pale Wire - like a bomb-sniffing dog, but for books
Pop Licks - everybody needs a thrill
We Eat So Many Shrimp - the premiere league of HH blogz
KAATN - not interested in diamonds, conflict or otherwise
The Children of Marx and Coca-Cola - movies or something


throwbacks
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